New Year’s midnight playlist
Newfound Oxygen - Steady Holiday
Another Day - EXO
new - Yves
Brand New - Xiumin
Four days into the new year and I had a silly question: is it too late to do a recap of last year? Well, it’s like my mom tells me, you’re never late. And God exists outside of time!
I did start writing this on New Year’s Eve, but couldn’t actually post it. I didn’t want 2023 to end without some kind of brief reflection. What I wrote last year was in a spirit of hope and contentment before life collapsed on me. But thank God, I did emerge from that wreck. Not a dramatic victory, nothing spectacular, more like the ending to Train to Busan.
New Year’s Eve also marked the one year anniversary of Pope Benedict XVI’s passing. I shouldn’t be sad - he did after all go to his eternal reward and will see God face to face, but I do still mourn his death a little. Although at the time I thought his leaving us was a horrible way to end the year (no doubt colored by my own misery), I realize now it’s kind of beautiful.
My cousin Jose died on February 4th from cancer. He was 60. He’s one of those older cousins I always called my uncle because of the 30 year age difference. I could barely speak when I saw him at the hospital. I could’ve tried, the language barrier isn’t so great, but my tongue just felt so heavy. I mean, Jose did talk a lot himself, and so did everyone else in the room but it was all I could do not to start crying. He knew he was dying; he was resigned to it, but there was no bitterness. I’d wanted to pray a rosary with them all, but nothing doing. I regret that, I do. Jose showed us pictures and videos on his phone and he made me smile. It’s a good final memory of him whom I hadn’t seen or spoken to in years.
In July, my dad had a mild heart attack. His surgery did go well and he’s been making such great progress that he tends to forget he’s 83 years old. He wasn’t ever frail and he doesn’t even look elderly, so we have to keep reminding him that he is indeed, an octogenarian. I want him to live to 100. He is the world’s greatest dad.
There were lots of happy memories made last year, in Disneyland and Virginia too. I finally met Maja in person after years of friendship. While staying with Maya for the second time, we locked eyes with two deers for a brief, hushed moment before they pranced away. I’m only slightly disappointed the Disney Princess chip didn’t activate and make them approach us.
I have many hopes for 2024, the greatest and most urgent is peace. For peace in Palestine and Sudan, for an end to the oppression and injustice strangling life everywhere. It’s a wish that probably won’t come true this year or even in my lifetime, but I won’t abandon it. More than a wish, peace is also my responsibility
It feels like it’ll be a good year. I visited my uncle in the hospital and another relative who was recently diagnosed with ALS. None of that is good but I’m happy I saw them.
Something I’m taking with me into this year is sweetness. It’s a philosophy I’m borrowing from this ITZY song. It’s actually so simple and not groundbreaking, but to me it feels like a revelation and a gentle reminder of what I’ve long known. This song is a balm to me.
Another morning comes (another blessing)
But it’s a little cloudy (deep in my heart)
Happy new year :)